Where You Place Value

A few recent conversations spurred me to share these thoughts with you . . .

We tend to put so much value on other people's actions and behaviours that we convince ourselves that they're a reflection of US.

But the truth is most of the time, the way other people behave has absolutely nothing to do with us. It's simply a reflection of THEM and their own struggles, thoughts and insecurities.

Take a moment to think about those simple things like the times you felt someone didn't like you because they didn't wave out or smile back or respond to your text for several days.

Or when your partner fell asleep without saying goodnight or your best friend didn't say the compassionate words you had expected.

We're guilty of reading negatively into scenarios that often aren't what our minds are telling us.

I have had countless conversations, and several recently with women who have been criticized for being unapproachable, unfriendly, even rude because they're not smilers or not chatty.

I'm sure many of you can relate.

In most circumstances, here's what's really going on.

She's so shy and terrified someone will start a conversation that she'll literally avoid eye contact because she just can't bare the thought of making idle chit chat.

Not rude - just scared.

She hates her teeth and never wants to smile because she's ashamed and embarrassed of how it makes her look.

Not rude - just self conscious.

She's such a deep thinker that she genuinely didn't see/hear/notice her surroundings.

Not rude - just in the zone.

She's seeking help to manage her depression and anxiety, so conversing with, or even acknowledging others, is just too difficult right now.

Not rude - just struggling.

I could go on, but you get my point.

We are all guilty of giving false meaning to things.

So the message here is to place value on your OWN thoughts and actions and try not read into those of other people.