Inside | Outside
I recently had a conversation with a woman who said she's never been particularly concerned with her appearance simply because she felt that it was "superficial".
She felt that spending time on her looks was perceived as vain and that to be happy and beautiful to her wasn't about worrying what was on the outside, but rather what was on the inside.
There's a lot of truth in what she said and we discussed her theory at length.
As she let her guard down, I asked if she WAS, in fact happy and if she did FEEL beautiful.
I mean if she'd spent the majority of her life focusing on her inner happiness and totally ignoring what was happening on the exterior, then, she MUST be happy right?
Suddenly, her face changed and I saw a realisation wash over her. She WASN'T happy and she DIDN'T feel beautiful.
Having a stable marriage, a healthy family and a rewarding job provided her with life's blessings . . . but was she happy, in herself, with herself, with who she was?
No. She actually, really and truly wasn't.
Why? Because she'd never really done ANYTHING for herself. It was all about the kids . . . and the marriage . . . and the home . . . and her employer . . . and her elderly parents.
It was just never "her turn" to see the world, to have a girl's weekend blow-out, to have a night out with the hubby, to have a pamper, an unnecessary shopping spree, to tart herself up. There was just no time . . . no reason.
It goes without saying that our consultation - turned - psyche session uncovered alot of home truths.
My gorgeous new friend wasn't comfortable revealing her identity, but she did give me permission to share this with you . . . and I hope it resonates with you as much as it did me.
"I came to Inna Moment reluctantly. In fact, I'll go so far as to say, I was smug. Here's this attractive young woman who was about to tell me what I should and shouldn't wear, how I should feel about myself and what I can do to skip around all day looking like a super model. I can honestly say that walked in to that studio having already made my mind up about Shadan, and left having my mind completely changed about myself!
Not only did Shadan take on board what I wanted to say with an open mind, but she, without condescending me, effortlessly quashed my feelings of distrust in her and my thoughts about what kind of a woman I was. Happiness, I thought, was an inside job. Beauty, only really skin deep. But what I learned through my new therapist (!) is if you're not happy with what's going on, on the outside, you won't ever truly be happy on the inside. It took several hours and alot of laughs with Shadan to get that. So ladies, seriously, go see her. Talk to her and let her break down your walls. It'll be the best investment you make for yourself - I promise."